Wonderful Town

I wrote this about a year ago, when I was trying to re-find myself again.  So much has changed since then, but the most important things haven't.

New York: What's Not to Love?

1. The way the buildings shine and glint in the sunlight.
2. The shape of the skyline and the overlapping buildings, forming a stairway to the sky.
3. The way the buildings light up at night, like fireflies trapped in a jar.
4. How frightening and humbling it is to gaze up to the top spires of St. Patrick's Cathedral
5.  Going to Rock Center during Christmastime to see The Tree
6. The big department stores like Macy's, Bloomingdale's, and Lord & Taylor, that seem to be out of another time
7. The way the steam billows out of the manholes and subway grates, creating a smokey romantic look
8. The way you get on the subway and are surrounded by a melting pot of people, who can all live, work, and peacefully co-exist (for the most part)
9. The subway system--its speed and character.  How you just dont make eye contact with people, let alone strike up a conversation.  It's just not done!
10.  Performers in the subway
11. ice skating in Bryant Park
12. the way people walk down the street with a purpose and a drive, always in a hurry
13. The way Times Square lights up the night like broad day light
14. The fact that there is always something going on, Broadway shows, plays, concerts, dancing, athletic events, etc.
15. the diversity of restaurants at your fingertips
16. the plethora of museums and art galleries
17. that the city never sleeps...there's always something open, even at 4 in the morning
18. we got the best pizza, the best bagels, and the best cannolis around
19. a distinctive accent
20. the best team in baseball--The New York Yankees!!!!!!!!
21. The fact that there is always a chance that you will have a celebrity sighting
22. reading the humongous billboards when you drive in or out of the city
23. the way it feels to zoom through the Lincoln tunnel.  I love those lights
24. the sound of the city never stops--it's alive with people, cars, trucks, trains, horns, sirens, hustle and bustle
25. the grid--you can always figure out where you are and where you've got to go
26. Little Italy and the San Gennaro festival in the summer
27. Greenwich Village
28. Penn Station
29. Grand Central Station
30. Madison Square Garden
31. Chinatown
32. Hell's Kitchen
33. The outer boroughs
34. The Staten Island Ferry
35. Central Park
36. The Central Park zoo
37. Columbia University
38. how tourists and slow-walkers will make your blood pressure shoot up to dangerous levels
39. Museum of Natural History
40.  Where the hell is the Original Ray's Pizza and why do we care so much?
41. It's hard to get a bad slice of pizza
42. Finding out little secrets hidden away, like a hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant that has great food and even better margaritas (Benny's!) or the fact that in certain places of Grand Central Station, you can stand and whisper into a corner and someone canl hear you across the room if they stand in a certain spot.
43. That nowhere else is going to be New York, and you know it when you go.
44. Lincoln Center
45. going to a game at Yankee Stadium, Citi Field, or Keyspan Park
46. walking across the The Brooklyn Bridge
47. Coney Island: the Cyclone, the Wonderwheel, the boardwalk, the Original Nathan's, and the Aquarium
48. the surprising kindness of strangers if you do ask for directions...and the rest of the people on the train who chime in to give you a better way to go
49. the impatience that is ingrained in this city
50. breathing a sigh of relief whenever I see the skyline again coming back into New York whenever I leave, and wondering why the hell I ever left.

Take Chances.

Written on a Starbucks cup:

I used to feel so alone in the city.

All those gazillions of people and

then me, on the outside. Because

how do you meet a new person?

I was very stumped by this for many

years. And then I realized, you just

say, "Hi."  They may ignore you.  Or

you may marry them.  And that

possibility is worth that one word.

--Augusten Burroughs,

author of Running With Scissors

It will decide everything.

 "Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything."

Pedro Arrupe, S.J.

I really like this song and these lyrics

Lullaby for a Stormy Night - Vienna Teng

little child, be not afraid
though rain pounds harshly against the glass
like an unwanted stranger, there is no danger
I am here tonight

little child, be not afraid
though thunder explodes and lightning flash
illuminates your tear-stained face
I am here tonight

and someday you'll know
that nature is so
the same rain that draws you near me
falls on rivers and land
on forests and sand
makes the beautiful world that you'll see
in the morning

little child, be not afraid
though storm clouds mask your beloved moon
and its candlelight beams, still keep pleasant dreams
I am here tonight

little child, be not afraid
though wind makes creatures of our trees
and their branches to hands, they're not real, understand
and I am here tonight

and someday you'll know
that nature is so
the same rain that draws you near me
falls on rivers and land
on forests and sand
makes the beautiful world that you'll see
in the morning

for you know, once even I was a
little child, and I was afraid
but a gentle someone always came
to dry all my tears, trade sweet sleep for fears
and to give a kiss goodnight

well now I am grown
and these years have shown
that rain's a part of how life goes
but it's dark and it's late
so I'll hold you and wait
'til your frightened eyes do close

and I hope that you'll know

that nature is so
the same rain that draws you near me
falls on rivers and land
on forests and sand
makes the beautiful world that you'll see
in the morning

everything's fine in the morning
the rain'll be gone in the morning
but I'll still be here in the morning

Shine Brightly

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.
And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.

Source: A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson, as quoted by Nelson Mandela in his inaugural speech, 1994

Mortality

It means that you can never give up—

People are counting on you

People love you and need yours in return.

It means that you must never give up—

No matter how much it hurts

Or how hard it gets.

It means that you’ve got to live your life

To its absolute limit,

Its fullest capacity,

Until you think you might pop,

Bursting with alive like a hot air balloon.

You’ve got to live it for Kaitlin

And Tim Sharkey

And Jamie and Paige and Mike

Because they won’t get another chance.

It means you must never let your light flicker

Or dim—never let it extinguish.

You must always be your most

Brilliant, vibrant, wonderful, terrific

Terrible, awesome, unexplainable

Self!

Because you’re alive!

Because you’ve got shoes on your feet

And feet in your shoes!

Breath in your lungs!

Teeth in your mouth! A brain in your head!

Lovely eyes to take in

the lovely world all around you

and lips to be thankful

for every last
speck
of
dust.

What is this life we’re given?

We’re not meant to know—

The answers are not here,

Not in any concrete way.

But it means you must hold on with every last

Ounce of strength you can muster

To this
this life, this breath, this moment

Because you don’t know when it’ll suddenly—

Terrifyingly— much too soon— irrevocably— be

gone.

Rest in peace, Kaitlin Kenneally.  The world is much dimmer without your light shining brightly.

Demons

We all have our own personal demons that we struggle with.  Maybe it's depression, alcoholism, or unemployment.  Maybe it's a lost love, low self-worth, or poor self-image.  Maybe it's worry about a family member, terminal illness, or a chronic ache of some kind.  We all struggle with something, with some source of negativity in our lives.  It is how we react to it, how we deal with those demons that matters.  We can allow it to take over our lives and totally consume us, or we can learn to be positive and find the good out of any situation.  We can wallow in despair, or we can rise above.  We can focus on the love in our lives, rather than on negative feelings.  Who loves you?  Your family, your friends, your coworkers, your classmates, your neighbors, your spiritual community members.  We can focus on the ways in which we are blessed.  What are the good things that happened to you today, this week, this month, this year?  What are you looking forward to in the coming days, weeks, months, years?  What are your goals?  How can you make those goals come to fruition?

Everyone has bad days, or a day in which everything that can go wrong seems to go wrong.  But those days end, Mondays eventually become Tuesdays, and tomorrow is as full of possibility and light "as moonlight in a martini" (to quote Moonstruck, my go-to flick when I'm feeling blue).  So chin up--everything is temporary!