The Flaky Friend: Deal or No Deal?

The flaky friend. Everyone has them. Some put up with them. Others write them off as soon as they themselves are written off. They have a bad rap, but some friendships may be saved despite flakes' despicable habits of treating you like you don't matter.

I have about three good friends who are flakes, and one better friend who is becoming a flake. While I have ditched some flakes in the past, I don't cut these particular friends off completely because I love them dearly and I have tremendous fun when we are together. There is a formula to figure out if a flake is a true friend or a jerk that you should brush off yourself. After all, why should you be subjected to such treatment time and time again? Keep in mind that friendships are situational: one person's flaky friend could be another's ex-friend.

Ditch the Flake or Stay and Play?
Answer yes or no to the following questions.

1. Is your friendship a two-way street? Do you see this give-and-take relationship continuing in the future, despite a less-than-perfect present?
2. Is your friend's habit of flakiness a recent development?
3. Are you comfortable enough to confront your friend about their bad behavior? Do you think he/she will be willing to listen and make an effort to be less of a flake?
4. Are you willing to have a less close friendship with this person until they finish whatever project they are so consumed with (i.e. undergraduate thesis, master's degree, new boyfriend)? What if that "project" is a permanent fixture (i.e. a child, a husband, a demanding career)?
5. Do you feel appreciated in this friendship more than you feel brushed off or unimportant?

If you answered "yes" to most of the questions, then I would advise that you stick it out with your flaky friend; it seems that this is a true friend with a lot on their plate who needs a little wiggle room. Don't be afraid to call them on their flaky behavior, however: let them know that it hurts you when they ignore you, do not call you back, or keep ditching your appointments last minute. Be understanding of their busy situation, but do not let yourself become a doormat.

If you answered "no" to most of the questions, ditch the sorry sack! Or at least distance yourself from this person who does not make you feel like the million bucks you are worth. As the wise Oprah Winfrey once said, "Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher." You deserve better than the way they treat you. I promise you there are better friends out there who will appreciate you for who you are. Why should you sit home on a Friday night because of this rude dude?

Some remedies for post-flaky friendship: Go out there and meet some new people--it will make you feel better than you have in awhile. Call a friend you haven't spoken to in a few months--maybe they are waiting for their flaky friend (that's you this time) to become available. Spend some time with your family. You can choose your friends, but you're stuck with your family! Might as well develop those relationships as well.

Twitter vs. Facebook: A Battle of Epic Proportions

Twitter or Facebook? Facebook or Twitter? Decisions, decisions! Initially, when Facebook was redesigned for the one millionth time, the "status update" was the hot topic of debate. After all, who cares what you're eating, reading, watching, doing or not-doing at the moment...right? And then there's those really annoying FB friends who update their status 20 times a day. If these are your gripes about Facebook and the status update, then Twitter is most likely not for you.

These were my hesitations about Twitter before I started to tweet and became a Twitter dweeb, more familiarly known as a "tweeb" (Side note: currently researching the copyrighting process for term coinage.) In fact, I only started using Twitter as a tool to update my Facebook status! But nowadays, I find myself getting frustrated with Facebook. It is no longer lightning fast -- when the pictures crank to load, I get flashbacks to the stone age of dial-up connections. ::shudder:: I also am horrified by all of the pointless applications like Farmville and WasteoftimeZoo that spam my newsfeed. Facebook is becoming more like MySpace every day. Which makes me think of pedophiles and creepers. Blech.

Thus, I have found myself enjoying Twitter so much that I have decided that I like Twitter more than Facebook. Oh, the humanity! If you had predicted that this phenomenon would happen when I was a college student, I never would have believed you. I would have screamed "Blasphemer!" right in your face and ran away with my hands over my ears.

Some may argue that Twitter is just "too hard to figure out." Well, I'm sure there's a "Twitter for Dummies" book out there that you can pick up at Barnes & Noble. Or, you could just sign up for an account and troubleshoot. Usually, the Tweebs will show you the ropes, like how to hashtag, retweet, and make @replies. Twitter even has a helpful Twitter support section for newbies. Others bash Twitter for not having the security and privacy settings of Facebook. Privacy, shmivacy. It's not like I'm tweeting my Social Security Number.

What's the point of Twitter? I don't have an answer for you. All I know is that I like to tweet and tweeting likes me. As a member of Generation Y, you have a social responsibility to at least give Twitter a college try. It won't kill ya! (But no guarantees...weirder things have happened.) Happy Tweeting!

#omgidothistoo

Do you make To-Do Lists? I enjoy making lists in general, but to-do lists in particular give me a sense of accomplishment. It is as if I have already crossed something off my list just by listing all of the things I must or want to get done. To-do lists are also helpful because I don't have the best memory (note to self: put Gingko Biloba on shopping list), so writing everything down helps me keep track of what I already did and what I still need to do. Perhaps I am overstating the obvious--do most people make to-do lists? Or am I the only one who is an over-organizer and mindless-task-doer?

Anyway, here are some lists that I made lately. (If you want to know how bad my list-making is, I have even made lists of things to blog about. Yes. It's like that.)

Famous People I have Seen on the Street
1. Spike Lee in Union Square
2. Tony Danza on the NYC Subway
3. Ronan Tinen on Madison Avenue
4. Tina Fey on West 4th Street
5. Blake Lively at Barnard

Famous People I have Actually Met In Person
1. Derek Jeter
2. Phil Rizzuto
3. David Cone
4. Jim Abbott
5. Joe Giardi
6. Andy Petitte
7. Tino Martinez
8. Willy Randolph
9. Buck Showwalter
10. A bunch of other Yankees
11. Bobby Long (singer/songwriter)
12. Anthony Rapp (the original Mark in Rent)

Playing the Waiting Game

I have not been blessed with a large supply of patience -- not even a small reserve of it. So you can imagine my difficulty in waiting to hear back from graduate schools about my acceptance into or rejection from their programs for Fall of 2010. I applied to Hunter College, Queens College, Teacher's College at Columbia University, Gallaudet University, and Boston University. I got my acceptance from Boston University, which is good and bad. At least I know I have one program that wants me if all else fails. But I really do not want to go back to Boston. I want to stay in New York!

I get antsy at my job (for many other reasons as well) and find it challenging to concentrate on the task at hand. Things would be easier if I just knew what my choices were so I could make a decision. It would be nice to have some peace of mind about where I'll be this fall. It's as if there is a big obstacle in my way to getting to where I want to be. But really the obstacle is merely time, because the letters will come in the mail in due course. I just have to sit on my hands and stop being so impatient about the future.

At least I have my new puppy, Maggie to keep me occupied, at the expense of my social life. But I don't mind--I am trying to save some money anyway!

Trick or Treat

Watched Grease last night, which prompted me to make this list:

Potential 2010 Halloween Costumes

1. Sandra Dee, complete with Pink Ladies jacket (the hot Sandra at the end with the hot pants)
2. Catwoman
3. Wonder Woman
4. Vampire a la Twilight
5. Cheerleader
6. Lady GaGa

Reflections on 21 + 2

My birthday is in 8 days and I will be turning the big 2-3. I am excited for March 12th to come because I love my birthday--it's my favorite holiday of the year! I'm not upset that I'm going to be 23 at all, even though it's the oldest I've ever been...obviously. It's not a particularly big milestone or anything like that. It's not 10, 13, 16, 17, 18, 20, 21, or 30 (thank God). I guess I have finally entered the "It's just another birthday" zone, which is okay. At least I don't have to feel pressured to have a big party, see a PG-13 or R-rated movie, go get a learner's permit, driver's license, pack of cigarettes, lotto ticket, Hustler mag, or a few gallons of booze because my liver's finally legal--all things I might have felt compelled to do at other birthday milestones, most of which I didn't. It's just another year older.

Interesting Tidbits from my 22nd Year:
- I graduated from college.
- I moved back to New York for the first time in 4 years.
- I got my first full-time job in the real world.
- I found my first gray hair.
- I went to three concerts.
- I went to three major league baseball games.
- I went to three Broadway shows.
- I was serenaded by the only all-male acapella group at Boston College, The Heightsmen. (*swoon*)
- The Yankees won the World Series!

New Addition to the Fam

So, in a little over two weeks, there will be a new addition to the family. Meet Princess Maggie! (or some of her distant relatives--see picture to the left. Official photo releases of Miss Maggie to come soon.) My family is adopting a Golden Retriever puppy from 24-Karat Goldens. I can't tell you how excited my family is or how ecstatic I am. I have been wishing for a puppy for a long time.

My former dog, Tasha, unfortunately got really sick with skin cancer in the spring of last year. She passed away in late July 2009. We were all extremely sad at her passing; she was a member of our family. No dog could replace Tasha--she was one of a kind, what personality! What a terrific dog. We will always miss her. My family and I were not ready for a new dog before this--we were actually going to wait until this summer to adopt a new family member. But it was destiny--a family friend told us about a Golden Retriever litter that had been born about four weeks prior on January 10, 2010. We went to see the puppies in the last blizzard about two weeks ago and we didn't stand a chance: we fell in love with little Maggie. She stole each of our hearts! So Maggie won't be coming home with us until March 17, St. Patrick's Day. She's a sweet Irish lass!

Stay tuned for pictures (and maybe video) of my new puppy. Yay!