Alec Baldwin: Hello, John.
John Krasinski: Hey, quick question: are you a Phillies fan now, since you guys couldn't get Cliff Lee, and he went to Philadelphia for less money?
Alec Baldwin: First of all, Yankee fans don't consider Philadelphia to be a legitimate sports town, John, you know that.
John Krasinski: I'm worried for you. Are you prepared for what's coming? It's going to be the worst misery you've ever experienced in the history of this rivalry.
Alec Baldwin: John, John, John, for the last time, this is not a rivalry. Just like fire doesn’t have a rivalry with kindling, lawn mowers don’t have a rivalry with grass, America doesn’t have a rivalry with Costa Rica.
John Krasinski: (forced laughter) Ha, ha, ha. Lemme ask you something, seriously though. How are you a Yankees fan at all? It’s like being a huge fan of fascism.
Alec Baldwin: No, it’s like being a huge fan of winning—which we do—relentlessly.
John Krasinski: Pfft, not this year, man. Not this year.
Alec Baldwin: Cla-ssic Red Sox fan. Go ahead, celebrate in April—we’ll dance in October.
John Krasinski: You will be dead in October!
Alec Baldwin: ….
John Krasinski: …Was that a little too much?
Alec Baldwin: I think you know it was.
John Krasinski: Sorry, I just got—really worked up.
Alec Baldwin: (beat) We all do.
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